Rochelle Almonte

« I want the reward and not the struggle . I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love with not the fight but only the victory. And life doesn’t work that way. » – ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck’ by Mark Manson

I wanted to take this moment to talk about what I’ve been reading recently. For the past week, I’ve continued reading ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck’ by Mark Manson. I was mentally drained and needed to regain my energy and calm; reading usually helps me with that.

I highlighted the passage above because I’ve noticed that a lot of people want so many things in life. In fact, they have many BIG goals, but at the same time, they are not even ready to work hard for them. Once things start to get difficult, they give up and look for something else.

I honestly can’t blame them because I found myself doing the same thing before.

I am writing this not to complain about those people because there is not much I can do. Instead, I will share my journey to self-improvement to hopefully help some of you.

Throughout my life, I’ve experienced many ups and downs just like so many people. I spent the longest time complaining about things not going my way, complaining about the way I was, and even blaming others for my failures.

Now that I think about it, I actually feel lucky. Why? Because I experienced so many events whether bad or good at a young age and I am able to realize the good in them at the age of 25. I feel blessed that I am able to be aware of many issues that some people only realize in their 30s, 40s, 50s, or even 60s+.

For instance, it took me years to accept my anxiety and insecurities about my body, and now that I accepted them, I became aware that without those, I wouldn’t be who I am today, and I can honestly tell you that I LOVE myself and I LOVE how I’m changing for the better each day. So, I’m actually grateful for those insecurities and anxiety. I never felt so sincere about that. For this reason, I want to continue to work towards my goals. I want to continue to improve because it feels so damn good to be better than your old self.

However, before I got to this point, oh man… I went through hell.

I do acknowledge that I am not special as Mark Mason mentions in his book, no one is special. Everyone has problems but it doesn’t mean that I have bigger or smaller problems than other people, it’s just that we go through tough times just like the rest of the world. That’s just life.

It took years of mental breakdowns, stress, anxiety attacks, and doubts before I started to accept who I am, become aware of my issues, be grateful for what I have and decide for myself to work on my confidence. Self-improvement became one of my biggest values and every single day, no matter how small, I worked on it. It took years for me and it could be that long for other people as well and it’s normal.

The message is that if you really want to change and become better, be ready to go through hell to get to where you want to be. There is no gain without difficulties. Think of it like a game Subway Surfer, how many times did you fail before you became good at it? Also, in other games, once you finished a level, there are higher levels with bigger challenges for you, but you keep practicing and playing because you want to be successful in the game. Eventually, you become better, and you develop different techniques. You become a better player than you were before. Well, life is somewhat the same.